Weird Instruments

Act I

Hum, do not blow: the one rule of the kazoo

A kazoo has a hole at one end and, on top, a small chamber with a thin membrane stretched over a second opening. Hum into it and the membrane buzzes with your voice. Blow into it and nothing happens, which is the commonest complaint about a perfectly good instrument.

The kazoo does not make a note. It decorates yours. That is why it has no keys, no holes and no finger positions, and why every player sounds a little like themselves.

Act II

Five kazoos, from solo to twelve-pack

Our five include single models with their own cases and two multi-packs for rooms with more than one player. Each uses a replaceable membrane, so check how many come with it.

Jade-style kazoo with swivel lid, blue

Admit I

Jade-style kazoo with swivel lid, blue

Solo players who like to adjust the tone

BodyABS resin
DiaphragmsFive
ExtrasSling, user manual
Warranty24-month replacement, claimed

4.4/5 on Amazon from 342 ratings

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Sondery kazoo, five membranes

Admit II

Sondery kazoo, five membranes

Gift givers wanting a pouch and lanyard

BodyABS
MembranesFive
ExtrasLanyard, storage pouch
WeightAbout 50 g

4.6/5 on Amazon from 1,500 ratings

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WANDIC aluminium kazoo, blue

Admit III

WANDIC aluminium kazoo, blue

Guitar and ukulele players wanting a pocket kazoo

BodyAluminium alloy
MembranesThree
WeightAbout 42 g
Pairs withGuitar, ukulele, violin, keyboard

4.2/5 on Amazon from 2,200 ratings

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Fansjoy 6-pack metal kazoos

Admit IV

Fansjoy 6-pack metal kazoos

Classrooms and parties needing six players

PackSix, in six colours
Membranes12
BodyAluminium
WeightAbout 68 g

4.2/5 on Amazon from 809 ratings

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Kulannder 12-piece metal kazoo set

Admit V

Kulannder 12-piece metal kazoo set

Parties and classrooms needing twelve players

PackTwelve, in six colours
BodyMetal
WeightAbout 120 g
UseParty favours, or with a guitar

4.2/5 on Amazon from 344 ratings

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Single models: jade style, Sondery and WANDIC

The jade-style model adds a swivel lid that adjusts the tone, a sling, five diaphragms and a claimed 24-month replacement warranty. Sondery’s ABS kazoo comes with five membranes, a lanyard and a storage pouch, and WANDIC offers aluminium alloy and three membranes.

Multi-packs: Fansjoy and Kulannder kazoos

Fansjoy sends six metal instruments in six colours with 12 membranes. Kulannder sends twelve metal ones in six colours. Either will furnish a party, a classroom or a very small orchestra.

Act III

Kazoo membranes: the small part that matters

The membrane is the instrument, and everything else is its housing. It tears eventually, and a spare is what separates a kazoo from a souvenir.

  • Jade style: five diaphragms.
  • Sondery: five membranes.
  • WANDIC: three membranes.
  • Fansjoy: twelve membranes for six instruments.

When to change a membrane

Replace one that is torn, slack or crinkled, since the buzz depends on it lying flat. The change takes a minute.

What the swivel lid does

The jade-style model claims a multi-gear swivel lid that changes the tone. Whether you hear the difference depends on taste and on how well you hum.

Act IV

What a kazoo sounds like, and why

The kazoo copies the voice and adds a buzz, so shaping the vowel changes the tone. Pick a tune you already know and try these.

  • “Doo”: a clear, round note.
  • “Too”: a sharper start to each note.
  • “Wah”: a wobble that sounds like a trumpet in a hurry.

Because it has no pitch of its own, there are no wrong notes except yours. That is a rare comfort in a musical instrument.

Act V

Playing a kazoo with other instruments

The Fansjoy and WANDIC listings both recommend pairing with a guitar, ukulele, violin or keyboard. It works because the instrument follows the singer, not the accompaniment.

  • With a guitar or ukulele: hum the melody in the key of the chords.
  • With a keyboard: play the tune quietly and double it by humming.
  • With a few friends: one tune, one key and no solos.

Act VI

Last orders: the kazoo we would pick

For one player the jade-style model wins, thanks to its adjustable lid, and the Fansjoy is the one for a room. Whichever you pick, hum.

If one buzzing instrument is not enough, the jaw harp and the swanee whistle both run on the player’s own breath, and the full bill goes on.

Jade-style kazoo with swivel lid, blueSolo players who like to adjust the tone

See it on Amazon

Encore

Buzzing questions about the kazoo, answered

  • Do you blow into a kazoo?

    No, you hum. Put the wide end to your mouth and sing a note, a “doo” or a “too”, and your voice makes the membrane buzz. Blowing air without a voice produces almost nothing.

  • What does it sound like?

    Like your voice with the manners taken out: a bright, nasal buzz that follows whatever you hum. A good one copies the tune exactly, wrong notes included.

  • Which one suits a classroom?

    A multi-pack. Fansjoy sends six with 12 membranes, and Kulannder sends twelve, so every child holds their own.

  • Can a kazoo play along with a guitar?

    Yes. The Fansjoy and WANDIC listings both say so. It follows your voice, so sing in the key of the guitar and it will keep up.

  • Why is it not buzzing?

    Check that you are humming a note instead of blowing, and that the membrane under the lid is in place and not torn. Spare membranes come with most of the models here.

  • Does it need tuning?

    No. The pitch is your voice, so there is nothing to tune. If a tune sounds wrong, the instrument is accurately reporting that you hummed it wrong.